I wrote this back in 2010 to my brother Phil before his, if I recall correctly, USMLE Step One.
I read it now and I’m still pretty proud of this piece. I feel like I’d simply be unable to pull this off again today with my present, dwindling supply of creativity.
Anyhoo, enjoy:

Hi dude,
The darkness spreads…
Mordor awakens.
The Eye of Sauron grows in power every waking minute.
But you should fret not Frodo. Fret not for you are in the company of friends and family with every step of your journey. The long and arduous path is but a few steps away to the end. It has been tough. It has been hard. But I see it in the Palantir, I see it as bright and clear as day. You will make it. You will get through. And by the beard of Gandalf the Wise I guarantee you that whatever the outcome, by the time you walk out that door, you’ll feel as right as rain. Have a cookie.
Well maybe not right out the door, but time shall heal thy pain. And if not, you will become a Queen. As treacherous as the Seas. With your Sting sword in hand and a mythril vest adorn, you will rise to the occasion and defeat the Uruk-hai or fugly ass Christopher Lee (take your pick).
You have chosen the road less traveled, full of bumps, twists, and turns, but what awaits you on the other side, be it the Hand of Midas or the Touch of Mark or a spot on your very own Grey’s Anatomy, the outcome will be worth it. And if not, the Ring that is your heart, your very soul and life essence, remains intact. You are alive. You are well. You are young. Success will be yours at one point or another.
So fret not dear Frodo. For your meeting with Sauron is imminent, but guess what? However the Battle for Middle Earth ends, it is not truly “The End.” The movie does not end. This is but one chapter in your life. You will live long and prosper.
You have done what you can, you have been all that you can be, and frankly, that’s all that anyone (including yourself) can ask for. I believe in you. Mommy and Daddy believe in you. Mark and Xem believe in you. Henry believes in you. Gandalf’s beard believes in you. This shitty, not-so-motivational email believes in you.
So when you step up to the fiery pits of Mordor and are tested to your very limits, remain confident. Remain true. What you know is what you know. If you don’t get it, you don’t get it. We are who we are.
Tonight, dream of glory. Let your mind roam free in the fields of gold, playing to the theme of Gladiator. Ho-nee-na-eee-yaaaaa. Upon my signal, unleash hell. It may take your life, but it will never take your freedom. After tomorrow, you will celebrate…your Independence Day. Fight the goodfight. Stick it to the Man. Wax on, wax off. Listen to your heart. It is calling for you. Remember, you are a cleva girl.
I bid you adieu, dear brother.
I’ll see you on The Other Side. Never save anything for the swim back.
Goodnight you prince of Maine, you King of New England.

